You know, I didn’t intend on writing two back-to-back columns about personal development, but here we are anyway. After all, our industry produces really good speakers with messages that give me the kind of reset (and by that I mean slap in the face) I didn’t know I needed.

The newest revelation started at NAPT last year and blossomed this summer. At the ACTS trade show, I saw a woman behind a booth and felt called to say hello. When I started talking to her, something started to make sense.

Kellie Doyle Bailey is an emotional intelligence coach who has transformed what she learned about social-emotional learning and brain science into a training program just for school transportation teams, as well as a series of books for both kids and adults. And behind all of it is a simple mindset shift that can work wonders in how we show up in the workplace.

I wanted to dig deeper into what this means in practice, so we sat down to chat for the August 2026 episode of The Route. And you guys, ever since that conversation, I cannot shake what she said.

Kellie’s words of wisdom have wiggled their way into my psyche, rolling around in my head like waves, coming and going as each nugget sinks deeper and deeper and turns into yet another “aha” moment.

Basically, she called me out without even knowing it. We were there to talk about emotional intelligence for transportation teams. And even though I’m just an editor, it turns out I deeply needed her message, too.

Practicing Emotional Intelligence

The gist of it is that when our brains are processing strong emotions like fear or anxiety, we simply don’t think straight. But when we are calm, cool, and collected, logic prevails, and we make better decisions. The key is knowing which state you’re in so you can decide how to move forward.

If you’re stressed or scared, take a moment to breathe, relax, and center yourself in exactly the moment you’re in. Acknowledge your feelings about whatever’s going on, and decide to come back to them later if it’s not appropriate to dwell on them in that moment. For example, if you’re a driver, you need to stay focused on completing a safe route and being there for the kids who are counting on you.

Reminding yourself of the task at hand helps wash away feelings that can wait to be processed later. In fact, Kellie talked about it like a backpack: one in which you stuff your fears, thoughts, and anxieties and set it aside to pick up again later.

The Problem with Assumptions

The real takeaway was the reminder that you never know what someone else is going through or why they did something, and you should never assume that you do. Our brains don’t like incomplete information. So, we tend to fill in the gaps to make sense of something: So-And-So did XYZ because of XYZ. But these stories we make up are rarely rooted in reality. So, if you aren’t 100% sure you have all the facts, you gotta learn to live with the uncertainty of not having the full story and not make something about you when it really is about someone else.

Instead of trying to fix something or rationalize something (or someone) you don’t understand, offer the benefit of the doubt. Be compassionate, even when it’s hard. Hold space for others. Think, “I wonder what they’re going through,” instead of whatever story your brain makes up that only makes you feel better.

Small Steps, Big Changes

This kind of radical acceptance and discipline can transform situations that once felt overwhelming. But it takes intention and practice because it does not come naturally.

What I love about this is that the principles apply to anyone, whether or not you’re in transportation. If you’re a human being, you can apply this, too.

For transportation leaders, all of this starts from the top. You must model good behavior and emotional intelligence so your team sees it in practice. If you hear rumors or gossip that may not be based in fact, give your friend or colleague a gentle check.

When we practice this, when we navigate our days with emotional intelligence, we learn to control how we act and react. We process others’ actions in a healthier way. We also demonstrate it to everyone around us. And that can be infectious — in the best way.