Are you sure the ECM is energizing the glow plug relay? I had to replace several ECM harnesses (part # 1807453C94) this past several months because ECM wasn't turning the relay on. Did you check the resistance of the glow plugs? I still haven't had one ECM fail yet on a T444E between 1996-2002 model years.
We haven't replaced any ECM's either but what we have found to be alot of the problem is there is no power getting through to the glow plugs where the wires attach at the valve covers.Sometimes the harness is bad from the glow plug controller to the covers. Most of our findings have been the connections through the valve cover gaskets. It means taking a continuity light or multimeter,unhooking the wire connection at the cover and touching each outer prong individually to see if the wiring underneath the valve covers is good going to each glow plug. At the same time, this will tell you if you have some bad glow plugs.