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DigitalGimpling
Advanced Member
USA
226 Posts |
 Posted - 03/10/2006 : 7:28:24 PM
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... and I am nervous. I haven't been driving for that long, and I am not entirely sure what to expect.
I'm only 21. School wasn't that long ago for me, and I have no children... so, I am still having to remind myself that I don't have to be passive in the face of school faculty. We're all adults, and we are essentially equals. Neither of us can do our job without the other. They don't sign my paycheck, and I don't sign theirs.
I'm not sure what to expect. The situation was as follows: someone broke a stink bomb on my bus. I saw the children in the back of the bus laughing and putting down their windows before the smell hit me... which indicates that the culprit is back there. I pull over, go back there, and confront the children.
One child tells me "It came from outside."
"Then why were you guys in such a hurry to lower the windows?"
"Uh... it came from the front of the bus."
"The smell is stronger back here."
"Uh..."
"Look. I was born at night, but not LAST night. Who had the stink bomb?"
"..."
"Fine, I'll write ALL of you up, and let the principal find out."
"You have no right to write us up there was no stink bomb you fatass!"
... Yes, I'm fat. Aren't MOST bus drivers? Around here anyways. I do have mirrors in my house. I am AWARE of my appearance. But I don't need this child reminding me.
"I'll write you up if I want to, since you're acting so dumb."
"Get your fat behind back to the wheel!"
Wrote her up, suspended for the rest of the year. She claims I called her dumb, which I didn't. I made it known that I wasn't dumb, and that their BEHAVIOR was dumb, but in no way did I call her, personally, individually, singled out, dumb.
So now, I have to face the mother. Is this child an errant child? Or does she learn her behavior from example? This child has on other occasions thrown the "race card" at me. Should I expect this attitude from her mother? Is this child going to be present and clapping her hands together and bellowing and acting ghetto during this conference?
What the hell am I supposed to say or do?!
Help. |
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misty
Active Member
USA
46 Posts |
Posted - 03/11/2006 : 11:41:34 AM
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Are you going to be alone in this conference, or will you have representation from your superiors and the school administration? I'd refuse to meet with her one-on-one. Stick to your guns, don't get into a shouting match or even attempt to match wits. Remember the child will have only told her mom enough to make her look golden and you like an idiot. Let the higher-ups, who've had more practice at this than you, deal with momma. Have they come to you for your side of the story yet?
I've only had one incident where a parent filed a grievance against me. She didn't object to the write-up of her child, only the reason I stated for the child's behavior as opposed to why he said he committed the offense. She wanted me to change my write-up, claiming he would be irreparably harmed and would never trust a bus driver again (esp. me). We've been lucky around here and have great support from the administration. Still it took almost an hour for the school board rep and the principal to convince her that my story was NOT going to change. As the principal said, the student admitted the offense, so it did not matter as to WHY it was done. Except for 2 minutes to tell what I witnessed, I never had to open my mouth. The child was not present at all.
Two days later (after the suspension was served) the child got on my bus with a big smile on his face, greeted me heartily, and three years later whenever I see him or his mom (they moved off my route) I am greeted warmly.
What happened was this: I witnessed this fifth-grader pushing a first-grader out of the way at the bus stop so that he could be first in line. As this was the second time I had witnessed this type of behavior (the first was during loading at the school in the afternoon) and he had been previously warned, I took him in (not to mention the obvious danger of this behavior at the stop, which was located on a busy highway.) He admitted he had shoved the child, but two days later he changed his story to say he had done it because the first-grader had smacked him on the back. That's when mom got involved. |
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misty
Active Member
USA
46 Posts |
Posted - 03/11/2006 : 11:44:08 AM
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| Oh, and I'm surprised that the threat of a mass visit to the principal didn't produce more results. Usually when I have to play that card the culprit is quickly identified, either by himself or the rest of the "gang". That may speak volumes about the level of support you can expect from the school... |
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80-RE4
Top Member
USA
5700 Posts |
Posted - 03/11/2006 : 3:09:18 PM
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Digital..
First of all here is what I would suggest.
1. Write everything down on a piece of paper, like you just typed it out on the forums, then type it up, exactly how it occurred. Explain everything, why you pulled the bus over-how you handled it- etc...Actually, you did pretty good, but just write down what was said (keep the thoughts out) and being fat, don't think like that!
You did, in my opinion, nothing wrong. This girl sounds like a smarta$$ and now she and her mother are probably upset that she was written up and off the bus. Go in there with a professional attitude and explain why you did what you did... You were concerned for the safety of the bus, the girl disrespected you, and state that you did not call her dumb, because you didn't. Calling her dumb would be saying "YOU ARE A DUMB PERSON" and that's not what you said. So just remember to be prepared in means of writing or typing it out for your reference, there's nothing wrong with that. People at meetings do it all the time.
I've told kids plenty of time "Do you think I'm dumb? Then please stop acting dumb because it's not working"
Or, You're acting very immature, please correct your attitude. The teachers say worse. You will be fine. Bring someone with you, you are 21 and just starting out. Whatever you do, do not get into a fighting match, don't let the parent force you into one, if the parent starts to yell, don't yell back, just sit quiet and refer to someone else. Bring a written statement of what happened. If the mom yells and you don't, it will only show who is better and who is more respectful. Hope it all works out. I'm sure it will.
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Edited by - 80-RE4 on 03/11/2006 3:12:22 PM |
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DigitalGimpling
Advanced Member
USA
226 Posts |
Posted - 03/11/2006 : 4:13:03 PM
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Yeah. Well, it's probably due to the EXTREMITY of the punishment. I have written this kid up a few times for playing "Musical Chairs" and moving from seat to seat... and always, just a few days suspension.
This time it's for the rest of the year. I'm relieved to be rid of this headache, but I think it's a little extreme.
Thanks, guys, and I will keep your suggestions in mind. I'm also going to call my mom and ask her. She's a teacher... she does this all the time. Maybe she has something to say that we haven't thought of. |
They see me rollin' - They hatin'
Patrollin' and try'n to catch me ridin dirty
tryna catch me ridin dirty |
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80-RE4
Top Member
USA
5700 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2006 : 06:47:51 AM
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| Well I think you will be fine Digital. It looks as if the school is already on your side, seeing they took such action. Keep us informed! The best advice might just come from your mom! |
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mrbluebird
Advanced Member
USA
381 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2006 : 08:48:24 AM
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| hey you will do just fine just try not to be nervious. |
YOUR CHILDREN'S SAFETY IS OUR BUSINESS |
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Salaskie
Advanced Member
USA
453 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2006 : 12:38:55 PM
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| So...how did your meeting go??? Did you stick to the facts? Hopefully, you didn't go it alone. Keep us posted. |
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DigitalGimpling
Advanced Member
USA
226 Posts |
Posted - 03/15/2006 : 2:43:24 PM
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Sorry, been busy the past few days.
The woman didn't even show up. I guess after her bout of anger, she figured I wasn't the proper person to yell at. I just write kids up, I don't decide on a suitable punishment.
*shrugs.* So, I guess I flaked out for nothing. |
They see me rollin' - They hatin'
Patrollin' and try'n to catch me ridin dirty
tryna catch me ridin dirty |
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bbird66
Top Member
USA
881 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2006 : 09:09:29 AM
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| Just remember to stick to the facts on any further write ups, and when you do confront the parents remember they (now days) stick up for their kids. The parents will also bring up EVERYTHING that has happend in the past, Stick to the present problem! and dont fall into their web!. |
Were gonna miss you "Brent"..Good luck in "Heidi land"
"I know you miss the Wainwrights Bobby, but they were weak and stupid people...and that's why we have wolves and other large predators" .. The Far Side
"On a two hour delay when will my child be picked up??"
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My first parent conference is Monday...
