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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 11/27/2007 :  7:27:46 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sbd37091

... I'm betting that he is not a bus driver. He sounds like a bus driver wannabe that could not pass the tests. I have already found out how to enjoy the forums. Scroll past any posting by "JK".


Some here include parents, a few students have their own threads, a few truckers, motorcoach drivers, sales people, administrators, teachers -- seems all sorts within the over ten thousand forum members and school bus drivers are here I would suppose. The approach to scroll past any postings you do not like sounds like a good plan. (jk)

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 04/26/2008 6:40:36 PM
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guzaldo
Advanced Member

421 Posts

Posted - 11/28/2007 :  04:05:18 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
sbd - Astute observation!
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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 11/28/2007 :  12:33:55 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Excellent resource for employees being bullied and employers dealing with bullying

Bully OnLine is presented as a Website, "for everybody, whether you're an employee being bullied, an employer dealing with bullying, a concerned family member, a union rep, counsellor, professional, researcher, journalist, etc.."

Bully OnLine, The Field Foundation, by Tim Field is maintained to oversee and carry on his work in identifying and addressing bullying.

An example of the information available from this resource:

How do bullies select their targets?

The bully selects their target using the following criteria:

  • bullies are predatory and opportunistic - you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time; this is always the main reason - investigation will reveal a string of predecessors, and you will have a string of successors

  • being good at your job, often excelling

  • being popular with people (colleagues, customers, clients, pupils, parents, patients, etc)

  • more than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear

  • being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)

  • having a well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise

  • having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity)

  • having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited

  • being too old or too expensive (usually both)

  • refusing to join an established clique

  • showing independence of thought or deed

  • refusing to become a corporate clone and drone

To take his work to the next level Tim presents that the Website as under continuous development, "which now contains over 400 pages of insight and information on bullying, including news of campaigns and initiatives, effects of bullying on health, legal issues and case law, practical advice for tackling bullying, as well as probably the world's leading book on workplace bullying. The site is written in plain English and is free of junk adverts and irrelevant complicated graphics which take hours to download. See site map for all pages available. Some pages have a list of coloured text items at the top to help you skip to the section on that page that interests you; all pages have a list of hypertext links at the bottom headed Where now? You can also use your browser's Back button to redisplay previous pages. There are comprehensive Links pages for workplace bullying and school bullying with links to resources, people and organisations tackling bullying worldwide. Most pages contain further links and cross references."

Click Here for Website

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 11/28/2007 6:32:42 PM
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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 11/28/2007 :  9:27:33 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote

Bullying in the Workplace

Employers are beginning to take steps to make bullying as unthinkable as sexual harassment or drunkenness in the workplace.

Schoolyard bullying - the torment of one child by another - is often compared to workplace bullying. Both types represent a grab for control by an insecure, inadequate person, an exercise of power through the humiliation of the target. School bullies, if reinforced by cheering classmates, fearful teachers or ignoring administrators, grow up to be dominating adults. When they join the work force, they continue to bully others.

Psychological Violence
A 1999 International Labour Organization (ILO) report on workplace violence emphasized that physical and emotional violence is one of the most serious problems facing the workplace in the new millennium. The ILO definition of workplace violence includes bullying:

"any incident in which a person is abused, threatened or assaulted in circumstances relating to their work. These behaviors would originate from customers, co-workers at any level of the organization. This definition would include all forms or harassment, bullying, intimidation, physical threats/assaults, robbery and other intrusive behaviors."

CUPE's National Health and Safety Survey of Aggression Against Staff, published in January, 1994, mentions verbal aggression and harassment in its definition of violence:

"Any incident in which an employee is abused, threatened or assaulted during the course of his/her employment. This includes the application of force, threats with or without weapons, severe verbal abuse and persistent sexual and racial harassment."

Bullying (general harassment) is far more prevalent than other destructive behaviors covered by legislation, such as sexual harassment and racial discrimination.

A Canadian survey on workplace violence found that physical violence is often reported from outside sources, such as customers, students and patients. Psychological violence is more often reported from within the organization. A U.S. study estimates 1 in 5 American workers has experienced destructive bullying in the past year.

Workplace Policies Needed
On April 6, 1999, a former employee of OC Transpo in Ottawa went on a shooting rampage that left four employees dead, then took his own life. The killer had himself been the victim of workplace harassment.

Among the recommendations of a coroner's inquest was that the definition of workplace violence should include not only physical violence but also psychological violence such as bullying, mobbing, teasing, ridicule or any other act or words that could psychologically hurt or isolate a person in the workplace.

No jurisdiction in Canada requires employers to have a workplace violence prevention program. For that reason, the OC Transpo jury recommended that federal and provincial governments enact legislation to prevent workplace violence and that employers develop policies to address violence and harassment.

Perpetrators and Targets
Over 80 per cent of bullies are bosses, some are co-workers and a minority bully higher-ups. A bully is equally likely to be a man or a woman.

The common stereotype of a bullied person is someone who is weak, an oddball or a loner. On the contrary, the target chosen by an adult bully will very often be a capable, dedicated staff member, well liked by co-workers. Bullies are most likely to pick on people with an ability to cooperate and a non-confrontative interpersonal style. The bully considers their capability a threat, and determines to cut them down.

Profile of a Bully
Adult bullies, like their schoolyard counterparts, tend to be insecure people with poor or non-existent social skills and little empathy. They turn this insecurity outwards, finding satisfaction in their ability to attack and diminish the capable people around them.

A workplace bully subjects the target to unjustified criticism and trivial fault-finding. In addition, he or she humiliates the target, especially in front of others, and ignores, overrules, isolates and excludes the target.

If the bully is the target's superior, he or she may: set the target up for failure by setting unrealistic goals or deadlines, or denying necessary information and resources; either overload the target with work or take all work away (sometimes replacing proper work with demeaning jobs); or increase responsibility while removing authority.

Regardless of specific tactics, the intimidation is driven by the bully's need to control others.

The Burden of Bullying
Bullied employees waste between 10 and 52 per cent of their time at work. Research shows they spend time defending themselves and networking for support, thinking about the situation, being demotivated and stressed, not to mention taking sick leave due to stress-related illnesses.

Bullies poison their working environment with low morale, fear, anger, and depression. The employer pays for this in lost efficiency, absenteeism, high staff turnover, severance packages and law suits. In extreme cases, a violent incident may be the tragic outcome.

The target's family and friends also suffer the results of daily stress and eventual breakdown. Marriages suffer or are destroyed under the pressure of the target's anxiety and anger. Friendships cool because the bullied employee becomes obsessive about the situation.

Moreover, our health care system ends up repairing the damage: visits to the doctor for symptoms of stress, prescriptions for antidepressants, and long term counseling or psychiatric care. In this sense, we all pay.

Prevention
Workplace bullies create a tremendous liability for the employer by causing stress-related health and safety problems, and driving good employees out of the organization.

The business case for strict anti-bullying policies is compelling. Potential benefits include a more peaceful and productive workplace, with better decision making, less time lost to sick leave or self-defensive paperwork, higher staff retention, and a lower risk of legal action.

Identify bullying in your staff handbook as unacceptable behavior. Establish proper systems for investigating, recording and dealing with conflict. Investigate complaints quickly, while maintaining discretion and confidentiality and protecting the rights of all individuals involved. It is important to understand fully any incidence of bullying and take the problem seriously at all levels.

Organizations who manage people well outperform those who don't by 30 to 40 per cent. Development of strong interpersonal skills at all levels is fundamental to good management and a healthy workplace.

There is no place for bullies in a well-run organization.

Source: Canada Safety Council
Canada's voice and Resource For Safety
Click Here for source

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.
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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 11/29/2007 :  9:36:09 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Tears on the Highway now available on DVD

Nov 29 2007
In late October, filmmaker/director Thomas Brown presented Tears on the Highway, an educational film that depicts the dangers associated with bullying and misbehavior onboard school buses, to members of the NAPT and the NASDPTS at their conferences in Grand Rapids, Mich.

Tears on the Highway, with a running time of 22 minutes, has been successfully tested on students within the 3- to 8-grade-range. A discussion guide accompanies the DVD, which can be purchased for $49.95, plus $4.00 for shipping/postage.

Those who wish to receive a copy (or copies) of the film should send their payments to the following address:

Educational Media Corporation
PO Box 21311
Minneapolis, MN 55421-0311

The party’s name, address, telephone number, credit card number and expiration date with signature (if paying by credit card) should be included with the payment. Educational Media Corporation accepts American Express, Discover, MasterCard or Visa.

Purchase orders from schools and libraries are welcome, and quantity discount prices are available; however, any orders under $20 must be prepaid.

Click Here for source




Legal Routes editor addresses cyber-bullying

Nov 27 2007
MCLEAN, Va. — In a recent issue of Legal Routes, a bi-monthly report on pupil transportation law and compliance, Editor Peggy Burns discussed the problems associated with students' use of mobile camera phones on board school buses.
In the article, Burns explained that the habit is leading to cyber-bullying. The students post footage recorded by their camera phones, some of which is staged for "cinematic" value, to Websites such as My.Break.com.

In addition to disclosing several cases involving cell phone and cell phone camera use, and then outlining cell phone policies and the disciplines imposed, Burns offered the following advice to pupil transportation officials: "When combined with today's ever-present cell phone, the phenomenon suggests the need for policies in all school environments, including the school bus, as well as revision of discipline procedures."

For more information on Legal Routes, visit www.legalroutes.com or e-mail myroadmap@legalroutes.com.

Click Here for source

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.
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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 11/30/2007 :  1:03:02 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Take a Stand, Lend a Hand - Stop Bullying Now!

From the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Health Resources and Services Administration.

This government library website designed for children and teens offers resources for recognizing and preventing bullying, which can take the form of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, and "cyber-bullying" ("occurs when children or teens bully each other using the Internet, mobile phones or other cyber technology"). Features games, webisodes, and other resources for youth, and a section for families and educators.

Current Categoies Include:

What Is Bullying
Why do kids bully?
Signs that you bully others
Effects of bullying

What you can do
Are you being bullied?
Do you witness bullying?
Do you bully others?

Cool Stuff
Webisode & charictors
Meet our panel
Partners
Games

What adults can do

Click Here for Website

Will the time come when all decent school bus drivers
revceive the support that teachers receive at some schools?

It is harassment when a parent seeks revenge, such as the resignation or termination of a teacher’s employment rather than a legitimate resolution to a complaint. Harassment can never be tolerated. (PDF download) When Conflicts Arise—Dealing With Parental Concerns - Click Here for source

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 12/01/2007 01:04:37 AM
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sbd37091
Senior Member

93 Posts

Posted - 11/30/2007 :  5:47:31 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Within this thread, there are 33 posts by "JK" and 16 posts by others who challenge his opinion and/or knowledge.

"JK" is a legend in his own mind.
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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 12/01/2007 :  01:01:26 AM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sbd37091

Within this thread, there are 33 posts by "JK" and 16 posts by others who challenge his opinion and/or knowledge.

"JK" is a legend in his own mind.



... and it would appear that at least fifty-percent of your first four posts in this forum have been personal attacks directed at 'JK.' That's an interesting revealing in a thread about bullies and hostile workplaces.

This thread is presented for workplace targets that are looking for remedies, and also information for employers looking to remedy bullying in the workplace. This thread also is presented for any that have difficulty restraining themselves from attempts to bully others. There is no legend to be had for anyone in this thread, only information and resources for those ready to tackle this issue at their workplace. (jk)

According to the United States National Center for Victims of Crime, one out of every 12 women and one out of every 45 men will be stalked during their lifetime. Click Here for source

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 04/25/2008 8:29:33 PM
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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 12/01/2007 :  12:35:13 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Britain Stands Up To Support National Ban Bullying at Work Day 2007

NOV 11 2007
onrec.com
National Ban Bullying at Work Day held on 7th November 2007 was the most successful campaign to date with over 3 million people taking part on the day. The Andrea Adams Trust spear headed this year’s campaign with a simple yet powerful message of ‘Speak Out’.

Hundreds of businesses including The Royal Mail, British Airways and a wide range of Government departments all actively supported the campaign.

Part of this year’s campaign focused on digital networking sites and an online campaign that drew hundreds of people to the Facebook site. The online campaign focused on personal messages of bullying from targets all across the UK, these messages were attached to balloons that were released across the London skyline at the Kensington Roof Gardens on the day. Simultaneously, balloons were released across the UK by a number of Police Constabularies and Ambulance services.

Lyn Witheridge, Founder and CEO, The Andrea Adams Trust said; “When we began it was fear that stopped organizations from taking part in this event but now the courage of individuals ensured 3 million people in Britain took part on the 7th November. From small private companies to Government bodies; from the Archbishops Council to Amnesty International, these massive world organizations have all actively supported the ethos of this national day.”

The day started with a huge radio and television campaign to promote the day as well as encourage people to Speak Out against workplace bullying. In the UK alone, it is estimated that one in four people will be bullied at some point in their working lives. National Ban Bullying at Work Day, now in its fourth year, was started in the hope of tackling this issue.

The overwhelming response to National Ban Bullying at Work Day was felt all over the UK and plans are already underway for our 2008 campaign which will be much larger, more successful and international than before.

Click Here for source

Will the time come when all decent school bus drivers
revceive the support that teachers receive at some schools?

It is harassment when a parent seeks revenge, such as the resignation or termination of a teacher’s employment rather than a legitimate resolution to a complaint. Harassment can never be tolerated. (PDF download) When Conflicts Arise—Dealing With Parental Concerns - Click Here for source

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.



Edited by - JK on 12/01/2007 12:37:14 PM
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kscalf
Senior Member

USA
73 Posts

Posted - 12/07/2007 :  3:50:12 PM  Show Profile  Visit kscalf's Homepage  Reply with Quote
For those of us that would like to use the forums to examine the issues presented it is pretty frustrating to read the personal attacks back and forth. Is it possible to take the argument outside? Or maybe responses could be limited to a few hundred words, so they wouldn't take up so much space.
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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 12/08/2007 :  02:06:26 AM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
''Is it possible to take the argument outside? Or maybe responses could be limited to a few hundred words, so they wouldn't take up so much space.''

Not likely, especially when considering that this forum and essentially this thread is 'the outside.' This thread's title name is maintained to allow it easy to locate or avoid.

You may notice that a few aggressive types come to this thread of their own free will. Seems odd. This thread, in fact and reality, is all voluntary in both reading and posting.

Most that are bullied at work are not likely to post their dilemma in this forum or this thread. Too much hostility from a few discourages doing that. Some may not realize the boss, another employee or some employee ‘clique’ is bullying them at their workplace.

I believe enough do visit this thread for ideas and resources more than adequate to make this thread worthwhile. My effort, of course, to make information and resources available is also voluntary. (jk)

Workplace Cliques: What do you do when your workplace is one big clique from which you are excluded? You aren't as powerless as you might think. ~ Article

@ Work
Warning: Office cliques can ruin workplace morale - Orlando Business Journal - by Joan Lloyd Article

Tribal Warfare
Dealing with Cliques in the Workplace ~ Artile

Dr. Gary Namie is widely regarded as North America's Foremost Authority on Workplace Bullying. He masterfully describes bullying's precipitating factors, the tactics adopted by bullies, the profile of people who get bullied, the full range of stress-related consequences of bullying, co-worker and witness reactions, tangible and intangible costs to employers who dare to ignore bullying. Click Here for Website

TUXFORD SCHOOL - UK
People bully because they are trying to get away from something. Don't feel like it's your fault, your normal and a bully is jealous of that! Click Here for source

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 04/25/2008 8:15:12 PM
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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 12/15/2007 :  6:54:48 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Customer is always right fallacy

This fallacy seems to have been enhanced by some in our industry to include outright siding with an angry parent’s and the child's version of what happened on the school bus, then demanding the school bus driver prove his or her position is the correct version.

School bus industry research has shown that when carefully analyzing an event on the bus video virtually 100-percent of the time the bus driver's version is more accurate than that of the offending child's or parent's versions.

My experience over the years has brought about a conclusion that more than a few complaining parents of unruly children riding our industry's school buses were shopping for a fight rather than helping the bus driver keep kids safe on the buses.

The phrase “The customer is always right” was originally coined by Harry Gordon Selfridge, the founder of Selfridge’s department store in London in 1909, and was typically used by businesses to:

  • Convince customers that they will get good service at this company

  • Convince employees to give customers good service

In “Losing My Virginity“, Richard Branson outlined his philosophy of taking care of his employees first, so they would take care of his customers.

In his book he writes:

More businesses are abandoning this maxim - ironically because it leads to bad customer service. Here are the top five reasons, why “The customer is always right” is wrong:

1 - It makes employees unhappy
2 - It gives abrasive customers an unfair advantage
3 - Some customers are bad for business
4 - It results in worse customer service
5 - Some customers are just plain wrong


CEO Hal Rosenbluth, Rosenbluth International, a corporate travel agency, wrote an excellent book about their approach called, "Put The Customer Second - Put your people first and watch’em kick butt."

Rosenbluth argues in kind with Branson that when you put the unbureaucratized employees first, they put the customers first.

Put employees first, and they will be happy at work. Employees who are happy at work give better customer service because:

  • They care more about other people, including customers
  • They have more energy

  • They are happy, meaning they are more fun to talk to and interact with
  • They are more motivated

On the other hand, when the company and management consistently side with customers instead of with employees, it sends a clear message that:

  • Employees are not valued

  • That treating employees fairly is not important

  • That employees have no right to respect from customers

  • That employees have to put up with everything from customers

Rosenbluth argues that when this attitude prevails, employees stop caring about service. At that point, real good service is almost impossible. The best customers can hope for is fake good service - courteous on the surface only.

About the author
Alexander Kjerulf speaks and consults on happiness at work all over the world for companies like IBM, PricewaterhouseCoopers (or PwC), and DaimlerChrysler. Click here to learn more.


Most any school district's transportation department can go from worst to first in my opinion, but accomplishing that magnificence requires much more than slogans, wishful thinking and lip service. It requires thinking first, then first performing the work that the greatest do to accomplish that end and win. (jk)

“Happy companies will win. Happy companies will grow and happy companies will innovate. The company of the future is—happy.” ~ Lars Kolind, Chairman of Grundfos

Note: Information for this presentation compiled from several sources and adapted in part to include the school bus industry.

Will the time come when school bus drivers receive
the support that teachers receive at some schools?

Substantially Disruptive - shall mean that the route must be interrupted in such a manner that the school bus must find a safe place to pull off and stop in order to address the disruptive conduct of the student or students.
Substantially Interferes - shall mean that the student or any unauthorized person has interfered with the bus driver or the bus driver's duties (screaming at the bus driver or otherwise defiant refusal) in the presence of the passengers and has failed to obey the bus driver's directives to cease and desist.
Adapted from: Click Here for source

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 05/20/2008 7:53:52 PM
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JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2007 :  10:27:12 AM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Tackling School Bus Bullying

By Kelly Roher, Assistant Editor

November 2007
School Bus Fleet Magazine
Respect, trust are key for bullying prevention
Suzanne Stayton, a school bus driver for Moravia (N.Y.) Central School District, discusses her approach to student behavior management.
At the beginning of each school year, I tell the kids I won’t put up with bullying. I talk to them on an even level because we’re all equal and I want them to understand what I’m saying. It’s important to establish a relationship based on mutual respect.

My students and I created a list of bus rules based on this idea. Some of them are:
1. Respect each other.
2. Respect your bus.
3. Respect your bus driver.
4. No fighting.

Click Here for full story

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.
Go to Top of Page

JK
Top Member

USA
7307 Posts

Posted - 12/26/2007 :  4:07:36 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
In Baltimore, 4 bus assaults in 4 weeks exasperate officials

Dec 26 2007
Copyright 2007 The Associated Press
BALTIMORE - The Maryland Transit Administration has been plagued by a series of assaults on its buses this month, including a shooting Wednesday that wounded a 14-year-old boy.

There have been four assaults - two beatings, a stabbing and a shooting. They have occurred on buses or at bus stops at diverse parts of the city. And they usually have involved groups of teens or young adults.

On Dec. 4, a 26-year-old white woman was severely beaten and kicked by a group of middle school students, in an incident authorities believe may have been racially motivated. The woman sustained several broken facial bones and bruises. Nine teenagers, all of them black, have been charged with the assault.

On Dec. 10, two men sustained cuts and bruises after a verbal altercation on a city bus with a group of about five young men turned into a fistfight after the men got off the bus. The victims, who are white, also claimed the attack was racially motivated. But transit authorities noted the five black men also harassed a black passenger on the bus.

Those incidents compelled the MTA to launch Operation: Safe Transport, a plan to increase surveillance and police presence aboard the city's buses and subways in the hopes of reassuring a troubled public.

But then came Wednesday's shooting.

MTA spokeswoman Jawauna Greene said the victim boarded a bus at Security Square Mall in Baltimore County about 12:15 a.m., joining a group of young people leaving the late movies there.

A second group of young people boarded the bus a short while later, Greene said. She said that together the two groups numbered about 20 - with the first group sitting in the rear of the bus and the second occupying the middle.

Police said the victim got into an argument with a member of the second group, who stepped off the bus at a stop, then leaned back in and fired a shot, hitting the boy in the leg. The victim was treated and released from a local hospital.

The earlier assaults prompted MTA officials to assert that public transportation is safe and that the increased surveillance would make them safer.

But Wednesday's shooting seemed to exasperate them.

Greene told The (Baltimore) Sun there's little the MTA can do to prevent such incidents.

"It's unrealistic for everyone to expect we can have a police officer on every single bus," she said.

Click Here for source

* * * *


Attacks show violent trend

Violence experts say buses are prime places where youth violence can erupt.

Dec 20 2007
Baltimore Examiner
MARYLAND -- The Baltimore girl stabbed on a city bus this week was fighting with other students — reflecting a rising tide of violence among middle schoolers and girls nationwide.

Shortly before 4 p.m. Tuesday, a teenage girl was cut on the arm on a Maryland Transit Administration bus near Mondawin Mall. The teenage girl also participated in a brawl with others, said Detective Donny Moses, Baltimore police spokesman.

Moses said the No. 51 bus was bound for Cherry Hill. He said he didn’t know which middle school the melee’s male and female participants attend. No charges had been filed as of Wednesday.

Tuesday’s fight was the latest in a string of high-profile incidents of student violence this school year in Baltimore City, where both male and female students from a Hampden middle school allegedly attacked a woman on a bus earlier this month.

“In the middle-school years, kids are starting to hit puberty and their hormones go crazy, but they haven’t developed that part of the brain where they can rationally think through decision-making,” he said.

“Their bodies have outgrown their minds.”

Nationally, violent incidents at middle schools are up, with 94 percent of middle schools reporting violent incidents in 2006, compared with 87 percent in 2000, according to the U.S. Department of Education.

Places where adult supervision is limited, such as locker rooms and buses, are settings conducive to student misbehavior, Lassiter said.

And girls are increasingly the ones throwing the punches and kicks.

Female teens see more images of tough girls on TV and in advertisements, making them the catalysts for the “next wave of violence,” according to research by Harvard University professor Deborah Prothrow-Stith.

“We must begin by looking at our environment, at who we are — our movies, TV, sports, politics and public policy,” Prothrow-Stith said in an interview with a U.S. Department of Education publication.

“As a society, we do a lot of finger-pointing and blaming — parents blame schools, schools blame parents, we all blame the media. But we need to remember: In an avalanche, no one snowflake is responsible.”

kvolkmann@baltimoreexaminer.com

Click Here for source

* * * *


NCSA Legislative Bill Summary: LB 205 (2007)

Nebraska -- NCSA Summary: LB 205 requires that, on or before July 1, 2007, each school district must develop and adopt a policy concerning bullying prevention and education for all students. The measure does not provide any specific requirements for the bullying policy, but it does require school districts to annually review the policy. It is unclear in the bill whether or not a public hearing is required in conjunction with the annual review.

LB 205 defines bullying to mean any ongoing pattern of physical, verbal, or electronic abuse on school grounds, in a vehicle owned, leased, or contracted by a school being used for a school purpose by a school employee or his or her designee, at a designated school bus stop, or at school-sponsored activities or school-sponsored athletic events.

The bill states that bullying disrupts a school's ability to educate students and threatens public safety by creating an atmosphere in which such behavior can escalate into violence.

LB 205 also amends the Nebraska Student Discipline Act by expanding the grounds for long-term suspension, expulsion, or mandatory reassignment to include "engaging in bullying."

Click Here for source

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JK
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Posted - 12/29/2007 :  10:06:34 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Bus Beating Not Being Considered A Hate Crime

Dec 29 2007
CBS 13 Baltimore
BALTIMORE (WJZ) ¯ A woman is brutally beaten on a MTA bus by a group of teens, and now controversial case is taking another dramatic turn.

Peggy Lee reports, prosecutors will not be charging the teens with a hate crime.

They say in order to do that you need to be able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt race was the motivation.

The face of Sarah Kreager was left broken, bruised and swollen after an alleged attack on a Baltimore City bus on December 4.

The city was shocked to learn those arrested and accused were nine teens from Robert Poole Middle School The fact that all the defendants were black and the victim white had MTA officials investigating the possibility of charging them with a hate crime.

Now the city's State's Attorney's Office says that's no longer on the table.

"In any case, in order to charge a hate crime, there would need to be proof beyond a reasonable doubt that could be presented to a jury that there was a conspiracy to injure someone or harm someone as a result of their race, their age or their religious beliefs " said Margaret Burns with the City Prosecutor's Office.

According to investigators the attack happened as the bus traveled in the 800 block of West 33rd Street.

As Kreager searched for a seat, one of the teens continued to jump in front of her telling her the seats were taken.

When she finally sat down, that's when the teens, all 14 or 15-years-old, reportedly attacked Kreager and her boyfriend Troy Ellis.

Prosecutors say while they won't be charging the teens with a hate crime, they are adding other additional violations.

"I can confirm that the charging process is complete, and the case is ready to go forward," said Burns.

The teens are already charged with aggravated assault and destruction of property.

The two new charges include malicious destruction of property and and disorderly conduct.

The next hearing for the teens will be held on January 4.

Click Here for source

* * * *


Authorities: No Hate Crime Charges In Bus Attack

December 29, 2007
The Associated Press
WBAL-TV Baltimore
BALTIMORE -- Nine middle school students accused of beating a woman on a city bus earlier this month won't face hate crime charges.

The students, all 14 or 15 years old, face assault charges, accused of severely beating a woman Dec. 4 on a Baltimore bus.

Click Here for full story

-Update-


Teen Charged In Bus Beating Presses Charges

Dec 31 2007
CBS 13 Baltimore
BALTIMORE (AP) #8213; The attorney for one of nine Baltimore middle school students charged with beating a woman on a city bus says the student has filed assault charges against that woman.

Nakita McDaniels' attorney Kimberly Thomas says the teen's complaints that Sarah Kreager assaulted her were not investigated by police or the State's Attorney's Office.

Thomas says McDaniels filed charged on Friday and trial is set for Jan. 31, the same day the trial for the nine teens charged in the assault on Kreager is scheduled.

The nine children, all black and aged 14 or 15, face assault charges for the Dec. 4 beating of Kreager, who is white, but prosecutors decided against hate crime charges.

They believe racial epithets were used during the fight, but that it started over a seat dispute and that Kreager was not targeted because of her race.

Click Here for source | Additional source

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Edited by - JK on 01/01/2008 03:04:21 AM
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JK
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Posted - 12/29/2007 :  10:20:29 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Bus mugging prompts questions about safety

Mom: how safe are kids on public buses?

By: DAN SIMMONS - Staff Writer

28 Dec 2007
North County Times,
ESCONDIDO -- Kevin Stevenson can tell you exactly how to get to Bear Valley Middle School, or anywhere else in a four-county area. The high-functioning autistic 12-year-old has largely memorized Thomas Guides to San Diego, Riverside, Orange and Los Angeles counties.

But he learned the hard way that getting from point A to point B can be harder than just knowing all the right turns.

On Nov. 2, a group of up to 10 fellow junior high students is accused of teasing and shoving him aboard North County Transit District bus No. 350, stealing his bus pass and cell phone and leaving him with no way home once he got to the transfer station at the Escondido Transit Center.

Escondido school resource officer Marco Sevilla arrested four of the alleged attackers, ages 13 and 14, after an investigation. Three face misdemeanor charges, while the fourth faces a felony charge of strong-arm robbery.

But Stevenson's mother, Lisa, said the incident never should have happened and points to the inherent dangers of school-age students riding public transportation.

"I've always told him, 'Don't worry, there's an adult (driver) on board,' " she said. "But in this case, the adult didn't pull over or anything."

School, transit and police officials said such discipline problems among schoolchildren on public buses are extremely rare. Sevilla said the incident is the first assault he's heard of in 2 1/2 years as a school resource officer.

But Lisa Stevenson said she's heard stories from other parents of widespread cell phone robberies on buses, stories that either don't get reported or don't get taken seriously by police.

Transit spokesman Tom Kelleher said that drivers are instructed to turn the bus around and go back to the school if there are problems. But in the alleged assault, the driver wasn't aware of any trouble, he said.

"When you've got a bus full of students, and they're hollering and making a lot of commotion, it's a pretty tough environment to discern something happened unless someone tells the driver," he said.

Stevenson was riding the bus home from school when the group, all standing on the crowded bus, allegedly assaulted him, according to the police report. He couldn't transfer at the Escondido Transit Center because he had no bus pass. A group of high school students approached him, learned of his predicament and gave him money for the ride home.

While there aren't adult monitors on buses, Kelleher said every bus has at least seven cameras rolling from different angles at all times. However, when police and transit authorities checked the tape from the day of Stevenson's assault, the footage no longer existed, having been taped over because it was five days later, Kelleher said.

Although satisfied with the arrests, Lisa Stevenson said she's still not satisfied with the safety measures on buses for children. She said her son's example shows it's next to impossible for a single driver to keep a bus full of rambunctious students safe.

Kevin Stevenson has not taken the public bus since the incident, instead opting for a school bus provided to students with special needs. It's the only school bus provided to students at the middle school. Lisa Stevenson said she supported her son taking the public bus and doesn't like the precedent set by the incident.

"Now, he's on the school bus and the kids who don't know how to behave are still on the public bus," she said.

Kelly Prins, an assistant superintendent with the Escondido Union School District, said that while she regrets the incident, she's satisfied with the way the district, police and transit officials settled it.

"I think the issues have been addressed the best the district could do," she said.

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Edited by - JK on 12/29/2007 10:23:01 PM
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JK
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Posted - 01/04/2008 :  04:42:42 AM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
The self-help guru, aged 12

Dec 31 2007
The Telegraph (uk)
Libby Rees published her first book, on how children can cope with their parents' divorce, when she was 10. Now she is going into print about the difficult leap from junior to secondary school. Making the move from primary to secondary school a year ago was, Libby Rees admits, a scary time.

"Bullying should be reported straight away," she advises. "Not only are you protecting yourself and others, you are highlighting the problem that the bully is facing and helping to stop them repeating the behaviour." ...

... when Libby was 10, she wrote her first self-help book, Help, Hope & Happiness. Packed with advice for children torn between warring parents and distressed by the emotional turmoil that accompanies divorce, it was a runaway success.

Such was the demand for her book that it was translated into five languages, featured on mainstream television programmes here and in America and has been the blueprint for a new BBC television programme (in which Libby will take part) next year.

When it was published, Libby, who lives with her mother, Kathryn, near the New Forest, was hailed as a literary prodigy. Now she hopes to repeat her success with At Sixes & Sevens, her new book, which will be published next month. It is devoted to tips on how to adapt to a new school.

When Libby's first book became such a success she was appointed a youth ambassador for Save the Children and was invited to sit on the youth board of the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service.

She has travelled the world meeting organisations that help children through difficult situations and, as well as mentoring other youngsters, she has contributed to a young people's agony column in a Canadian magazine.

"If my new book helps others as much, then I will be happy," she says. ''Grown-ups forget that when we transfer to secondary school we are going from being the oldest in our primary school to being the new, small fry in our new one. And there's so much more than the academic work to worry about. Trust me. I know."

Click Here for full story

Ebay Search - Help Hope Happiness Libby Rees

* * * *


Time to stand up

Sandra M. Klepach SKlepach@News-Herald.com

Jan 1 2008
News-Herald
Students at Chestnut Elementary School in Painesville dance after pledging not to be bullies. The dance party capped off a musical assembly by the Hill Brothers of Buffalo, N.Y.

State law requires policies against bullying for the new year

The pledge that students at Chestnut Elementary in Painesville took last month - "I will not bully anyone" - has become more important than ever to follow.

Teachers and administrators across the state will now be paying closer attention.

As of Sunday, every Ohio school district must have adopted a policy defining and deterring the previously vague but damaging behavior known as "bullying."

The Ohio Legislature ruled so in December 2006, charging each district with using a committee to form procedures for documenting, investigating and reporting complaints.

Many already had a policy in place but consulted new sources, including a model policy adopted July 10 by the Ohio Department of Education, for changes and additions. ...

Mentor Schools, for example, used a policy already strong at its Shore Junior High School - the Norwegian-born Olweus Bullying Prevention Program.

"The behavior marked by this policy is marked by the intent to ridicule, humiliate or intimidate the victim,"

the district's handbook has specified since July, and even includes "exclusion from the peer group."

Teachers must report acts of "harassment, intimidation, or bullying ... which cause mental or physical harm," and school

administrators must notify both the offender's parents and the victim's.
Parents and students are encouraged to file complaints as well.

Click Here for full story

* * * *


Can We Stop the Violence on School Buses?

With school-related violence on the rise and school buses a particular area of concern, school officials return to the question of how to make the bus ride safer. Training strong prevention policies, technology and creative problem-solving help the cause.

Click Here for source

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Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 01/04/2008 05:00:50 AM
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wgloff
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Posted - 01/11/2008 :  04:09:04 AM  Show Profile  Visit wgloff's Homepage  Reply with Quote
OK, JK, you have made your point. The problem now is that you have overloaded us with too much info.Please tell us what your point is so that we may understand your point.
We take bullying very seriously here. All instances are reported. But at this point, I have just lost track of your point.

Please wrap this thread up.

Thank you.
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guzaldo
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Posted - 01/11/2008 :  05:33:14 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Jim's point - he thinks he is the smartest most enlightened guy in the room.
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bus724
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Posted - 01/11/2008 :  07:43:28 AM  Show Profile  Visit bus724's Homepage  Send bus724 an AOL message  Reply with Quote
You shouldn't have said that, guzaldo....now we're going to get several more novels--I mean posts--supporting that point.
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JK
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Posted - 01/13/2008 :  01:13:23 AM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Please tell us what your point is so that we may understand your point.

Your answer is in the first post. This is an all-volunteer thread. None are forced to come here and post.

This thread is tiny compared to several others. It will continue to provide resources for the interested. The fact that this thread’s title has not changed since the first post makes it easier for the uninterested to skip on by to something they might like. (jk)

Take the 24-Question Self-Exam by Bob Sutton

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There is no school bus driver shortage!
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Edited by - JK on 04/25/2008 8:36:18 PM
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guzaldo
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Posted - 01/13/2008 :  01:26:50 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
LOL you are a piece of work. Living in the Jimbo parallel universe where you are the all knowing one. Have a nice day in your hostile work place.
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JK
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Posted - 01/13/2008 :  03:29:46 AM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Not just in USA
Bullies blamed for death of second pupil at school

By Richard Edwards

Jan 1, 2008
The Telegraph, UK
A schoolgirl hanged herself from a tree with her scarf after she was bullied by classmates for wearing "dresses rather than trendy outfits", a friend has claimed.

Belinda Allen,14, was found with suicide notes to her teachers and parents in Southwater, West Sussex. She attended Tanbridge House School, where another pupil Ben Vodden, 11, hanged himself just over a year ago after he was bullied on the school bus.

Belinda, who was described by teachers as a "beautiful girl and talented dancer", was found hanging from a tree by a dog walker at around 6.30pm on Tuesday.

A close friend said she had been bullied for a year. The 15-year-old friend, who did not wish to be named, said: "People picked on her because she was a bit different. She was very quiet, but she was teased about her name and what she wore.

"She liked wearing dresses and the bullies called her a lesbian."

She added: "I knew Belinda was being bullied, but I didn't know how badly she had taken it. On the outside she was happy and bubbly.

"It wasn't so much a particular gang that bullied Belinda, it was just a variety of different people at the school. Kids are like that. They bully people for anything, whether it's true or not."

Kevin and Lindsey Allen, Belinda's parents, speaking from their home in Horsham, West Sussex, said: "Belinda was much loved by all of her family and friends. She was bright, bubbly, fun-loving and kind. We are all going to miss her very much."

A parent at the school, who did not want to be named, said: "When Ben died everyone said 'Never again' and it was very awkward for the school when all the bullying came out in the open at Ben's inquest.

"It is just sickening that this can happen again."

Click Here for full story

* * * *


Girl is second pupil found hanged after suffering taunts by bullies

Bt Murad Ahmed

The Times
Jan 10 2008
A schoolgirl has been found hanged from a tree in an apparent suicide — a year after a fellow pupil killed himself after being bullied.

Click Here for full story

* * * *


School students shoot classmate for ‘bullying’

By Sanjeev K Ahuja

First Published: :December 12, 2007
Hindustan Times
India - In an American-style campus shooting, two students of a private school in Gurgaon shot dead a classmate as he was about to take the schoolbus home, police said on Tuesday.

Abhishek Tyagi, a class VIII student of Euro International School in Sector 45, was shot five times from close range on his forehead, chest and shoulder inside the campus. The 14-year-old was declared dead at a private hospital.

Police identified the two boys as Akash Yadav, 14, and Vikas Yadav, 13. They said Akash had brought his father’s licensed foreign-made pistol and both boys took turns to shoot Abhishek.

Click Here for full story

* * * *


Who is responsible for dealing with bullying?
Failure to accept responsibility for bullying leads to school shooting. Click Here for full story UK Website with loads of information on bullying.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 01/13/2008 04:57:50 AM
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kscalf
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Posted - 01/16/2008 :  1:25:20 PM  Show Profile  Visit kscalf's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Woops! I thought I was entering a forum, but it is just JK's personal blog...
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JK
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Posted - 01/28/2008 :  01:19:18 AM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Protected status for bullies

Ruth Sheehan, Staff Writer

Jan 28 2008
The News & Observer
Or, perhaps more aptly, Bullying: The Afterschool Special.

About a month ago, I wrote a column about a young man who'd been harassed and finally attacked at his middle school. The part of his story that got me: His parents' requests to have their son transferred from the school where he'd been attacked were denied. The parents finally enrolled him in a Catholic school instead.

That column elicited dozens of similar stories. In reviewing those tales, I noticed two recurring refrains:

* "IT HAPPENS AT EVERY SCHOOL."

This was the common answer heard by parents whose children were being picked on, harassed or beaten up -- even though the Wake County school system has a policy that prohibits bullying.

* "WE CAN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING." This, from school officials, in response to parents' questions about what happened to the bully or bullies who harmed their child.

This second refrain is the one that prompted Tim Holmes, a Cary real estate agent, to contact me.

His daughter Sarah, then a sixth-grader, was harassed two years ago, not in her school, but on the bus.

Both Sarah and her best friend, also 11, had been targeted by a boy on the bus who said he wanted to go out with them. When they refused, he started grabbing them in places no father would want his daughter grabbed.

But for many weeks, Sarah never told her parents what was going on. The boy had threatened to kill her parents or her older brothers.

And she believed him. The kid had been through sixth grade once or twice before and not only was older but far bigger than most of the kids in her class. He also lived in her neighborhood and said he'd come over with a condom any day.

Finally, she broke down crying, and the whole story came out.

Holmes complained and was assured the problem would be taken care of.

He believed it -- until he learned that the boy was allowed to ride the bus home as usual that very day.

And the boy was mad.

The harassment intensified. One day, the girls and the boy were called to the office at the same time -- to separate rooms. The boy came to the girls' room and threw a chair, threatening the girls not to get him into any more trouble.

That night, luckily, Sarah got a ride on another bus. But her girlfriend wasn't so lucky.

The boy grabbed her head and squeezed, leaving bruises on her neck and face.

That girl's mother called the police, and the families learned that the boy had been suspended.

For how long? Holmes wanted to know.

When will the boy be back? Will he be allowed to ride the bus? Will the boy receive any sort of counseling? Will the pattern of behavior be addressed?

Because of confidentiality rules, the school could not answer Holmes' questions.

"I asked, 'Do I have to sit outside the school doors every morning to see whether he's back?' Holmes recalled. "They said, 'That's your choice.' "

In the end, the parents of the boy finally removed him to a private school.

But the incident left a sour taste in Holmes' mouth.

"To me, it seems Wake County protects the predator more than the victim," Holmes said. "As a predator, he's got more rights than our kids."

ruth.sheehan@newsobserver.com or (919) 829-4828

Click Here for source.

Take a Stand, Lend a Hand - Stop Bullying Now!
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Edited by - JK on 01/28/2008 02:01:32 AM
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JK
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Posted - 01/28/2008 :  01:43:54 AM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Massillon officials target bullies at school

By Benjamin Duer

Jan 24 2008
The Repository
MASSILLON, OH -- Is it cool for kids to bully other kids?

No.

That’s the message officials at the Massillon Middle School are conveying to students. And, now, to parents.

A sparse crowd of parents — 15 — attended Wednesday night’s anti-bullying meeting at the school.

BULLYING PREVENTION

At the meeting, parents were introduced to a new initiative at the school. It was launched in the fall.

The Olweus (OI-VEY-us) Bullying Prevention Program has three primary goals:

• Reduce existing bullying problems.

• Prevent new bullying problems.

• Establish better peer relations at school.

The program is in response to bullying incidents at the school and new state anti-bullying policies.

A school survey indicates at least 24 students felt they were bullied last year.

“I don’t think there is any more bullying in the Massillon Middle School than any other school,” said Principal Gary McPherson.

The survey also said roughly 70 percent of the student population did not feel they were bullied.

Half of the student body said it would help someone targeted by a bully.

McPherson said: “I do think bullying is an issue that should be addressed.”

So do the parents.

CONCERNED PARENTS

Debbie Van Camp took her fifth-grade son off the school bus because of a bully.

Her son was a target, but so were others. Van Camp said her son didn’t like the way the bully picked on the others.

Cathy Vidovich has a son who has felt both roles — the bully and the bullied. He took a cookie, she said.

“These kids are so hormonal. They don’t know where they fit in,” she said.

Vidovich believes the school should isolate bullies from other students.

LONG PROCESS

School officials don’t necessarily advocate isolation.

However, they do believe in the Olewus program — based on 32 years of research. It will take time, they said.

Staff, students and teachers will learn skills to recognize and report problems.

McPherson said parents should not expect overnight success. It could be years.

“We’re trying to change the school’s climate,” and that takes time, said behavior coach Julie Brokaw.

OLWEUS WAY

Dan Olweus, a native of Sweden, is recognized as a pioneer in the research of bullying problems.

He is a research professor of psychology at the University of Bergen in Bergen, Norway.

His bullying prevention program is supported by the U.S. Department of Justice, since 1999.

Source: Clemson University

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Stop Bullying Now
Learn What You Can Do! ~ Stan Davis - Olweus method

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Edited by - JK on 01/28/2008 01:52:00 AM
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JK
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Posted - 02/03/2008 :  2:04:20 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
EXCERT FROM RECENT SBF STORY

State Directors Discuss Belts, Bullying

At their annual conference in Grand Rapids, Mich., NASDPTS members hear varying perspectives on seat belts in school buses, among other issues.

By Thomas McMahon, Executive Editor

SBF January 2008 - Features
School Bus Fleet Magazine
State pupil transportation directors from across the country convened in Grand Rapids, Mich., in late October to discuss issues of national importance, from seat belts to bullying to school bus security.

...

Bus bullying examined

Ohio filmmaker Thomas Brown showed NASDPTS members Tears on the Highway, his emotionally charged film about school bus bullying.

Ohio Pupil Transportation Director Pete Japikse described the polarizing effect of the film. “Some of you will like it, and some of you will hate it,” Japikse said. Still, he said that it was something that demanded to be watched and reacted to.

The film’s tone and content is certainly troubling. A downtrodden boy recounts a tragedy of his own making: In an unruly school bus, he led other passengers in picking on another boy, ultimately pushing him down and giving him a bloody nose. The bus driver, distracted by the violence, crashed the bus.

Brown has been showing Tears on the Highway to students in Ohio and other states, and he said that his own experience with bullying as a youth has helped him in connecting with children. ...

Click Here for full story

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Edited by - JK on 02/03/2008 2:07:38 PM
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JK
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Posted - 02/03/2008 :  2:59:06 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Schools' view of bullying

Ruth Sheehan, Staff Writer

Jan 30 2008
The News & Observer

After writing two columns about bullying in the public schools, I find my mailbox groaning with letters demanding answers to some basic questions.

First and foremost: What is Wake County doing to stop this problem?

To be fair, I must point out that bullying is not a problem specific to Wake.

That said, the cases I have written about have been from Wake, so I thought it only fair to give Wake school officials a chance to address parents' questions.

Eric Sparks, head of counseling for the entire system, was happy to oblige.

The first point he stressed is that under Wake policy, any school employee who knows of bullying in the schools or on the buses must report it to the principal. Must.

This is an important reminder for teachers, administrators and bus drivers who still think that bullying is a natural part of growing up, that the kids who get targeted need to toughen up or that the ones doing the bullying just need someone to hit back a few times.

Sparks' biggest challenge: convincing students that telling on a bully is different from tattling.

The consequences are certainly far more serious.

Sparks noted that some of the worst cases of school violence in this country occurred when kids who had been bullied or ostracized took out their anger and resentment on the entire school.

In Wake County, Sparks said, conflict resolution strategies are taught from kindergarten on up. Ways to identify and handle bullying behavior are taught in health classes. And both bullies and victims are supposed to be offered counseling and, in the case of victims, protection.

Then why aren't victims of bullying allowed to know how their bullies have been punished, or for how long?

School officials say they are hamstrung by confidentiality rules known as FERPA -- the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act.

FERPA says, among other things, that no one is allowed to see a child's education record, including disciplinary actions, without the parent's written permission.

Marvin Connelly, Wake's assistant superintendent of student support services (and Sparks' boss), suggested viewing it through the prism of one's own parenting experience.

"If my own child were suspended from school, would I want my neighbors or other parents from my school being able to call and find out what my child did or what punishment he received?" Connelly said. "If I would not want that for my own child, I would want to afford the same protection to other children as well."

Certainly, too, there are times when children are wrongly accused and wrongly punished.

That's fine, I said. But it seems to me the victim deserves consideration, too. The victim should at least be told when the bully or harasser will be allowed back in school or on the bus.

That would sit a lot better with parents than the standard school response: "We can't tell you anything."

Or the blanket assurance: "We're handling it."

From the letters in my mailbox, I get the impression that plenty of parents and kids don't feel handled so much as manhandled.

But Sparks, for one, thinks that even horror stories about bullying help draw attention to the issue. And the more people who understand that bullying doesn't have to be a natural part of growing up, the better chance we have of bringing it to an end.

Click Here for source

“Happy companies will win. Happy companies will grow and happy companies will innovate. The company of the future is—happy.” ~ Lars Kolind, Chairman of Grundfos

Take a Stand, Lend a Hand - Stop Bullying Now!
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Edited by - JK on 02/03/2008 3:00:40 PM
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MOVED FROM A FRAY IN ANOTHER THREAD (Apr 25 - reworked response)

quote:
Originally posted by 80-RE4

All I am asking is that some of you, if not all of you, try to find the good quality in each other rather than attack. I am not interested in the past- because that is just what it is. I never pinpointed anyone, nor never said this forum was perfect. There has to be a happy medium, when the threads and posts are actually about the topic being presented and not about personal attacks towards one another. I don't know what else to say, it's draining to come on to these forums and read all of these personal attacks when we are supposed to be working with each other and not against each other. That's all I am asking. If you don't agree with what someone has posted, don't attack the person, simply debate with their post. No one, not anyone, no matter how many creditials they have is better than anyone in the eyes of God. Live up to that. (FEB 2008

80-RE4,

You may recall that in another thread a forum member said the frays were hurting this forum and to please stop. Certain promises were made, which myself made no promise.

Did making promises work? Apparently so for at least one poster that rarely does other than address an issue and debate a message on occasion. Don't believe that poster has engaged in personal attacks since.

Your plea has been made. Will that work for the remaining fray builders?

One poster assumed that I was referring directly to him and rallied to defend himself by again with personal attacks presenting his fashion of truth, which can attract personal responses/counter attacks and presenting a fashion of truth as well.

Not that poster, nor anyone else spacific in his clique was singled out or excluded as the mindset referrered, only a scenario for you, 80-RE4, to give heed, directed specific to you to consider. A blast into the dark to listen for who said, ouch, could have just as easily ricoshade myself in the foot or brought an 'ouch' from an innocent bystander.

To lend excersize to someone visible and not so hostile, even sometimes somewhat passive is much better I would think. I picked you - visible, well enough behaved, sufficiently aware and ready enough if willing. Could care less about whatever your credentials - myself not convinced that credentials is the answer to resolving a reoccurring issue showing up again in this thread and in the most effective way and with the most permanent outcome.

One poster seems to have assumed he was a target, and perhaps in a sense he was - since has presented he apparently finds it important to attack me personally. That one was first offended that I challenged some of his reasoning early on, (to someone I considered was a worthy debater). Later said his purpose was to help me, not just debate anything I present but then on to personalize at most any opportunity, mentioning on occasion, for as long as long as allowed -- What came next?

---

What came next? (cont.)

To engage in personal attacks and to do so implying for the good of this industry and mankind - presented in a heat after heat with a variety of labels? Sounds noble enough.

On the positive side is an opportunity to see how anger, bullying and cliques can play out in the workplace without actually being in the workplace. A looking glass of sorts?

On the negative, how much harm is done while saving the planet from the target, and how is the anger defused or stopped when it is time for that to happen?

Apology/forgiveness? Works for plenty, but can be considered by some a sort of weakness and provoke rather than ease.

Ignoring? Don't act - don't tell. Hide the problem. Works for some targets, but that sort of hiding from the issue can lead to self-isolation, depression and other problems, including extremes - murder and/or suicide.

Empathy? Usually does not work for the hard-core bully that has learned how to minipulate and abuse empathy - veiwed as a weakness to take advantage of and misuse. Can often work for the bully that does not want to be a bully but does not know how to escape that mindset, often the victium of bullying.

Here is what targets often try:

Confront? (Stop it now!) One of the most effective methods for children and adults to stop a bully in his or her tracks when also effective administrative support is in place. In the story, Beating back the office bully (below), ''SuccessFactors [a California software company]," has the new hire sign a statement saying saying he or she won't be an asshole, and they fire the employee if found to be the case. Confronting can be dangerous where close and informed adult/administrative support is poor, nonexistent or indifferent - stalking, ganging up on the target and escalating to violence.

Maneuver? Maybe works for some. Redirecting the bully in another direction, good or not so good, but out of your area and that bully's radar. Redirecting away from a current target does not stop the bully from choosing another target.

Become invisible? This actually works very well for most kids on the school buses and for adults in the workplace. These have a somewhat or what appears a neutral acceptance of what the bully is doing to others, claim not involved but may giggle or laugh displaying real or false support toward the bully's malbehavior. The malbehavior of the bully and the uninvolved often continues toward the bully's target and without relief. (See 'Ignoring' the problem.)

Become an ally to the bully? In the workplace, on the school bus and in this forum on occasion can be found bullies and their groupies. Joining in may help keep self from targeted, but at what cost? What are you willing to do to appease the bully? Who are you willing to hurt? Some that join in are a different breed of mindset - devious, deriving pleasure from joining a gang, using, hiding behind and justifying through a bully for their own acts of violence - 'Just following orders' -- 'The devil made me do it'.

Become a bully? A document in this thread presents that the survivors remaining in a hostile workplace after a sufficient time is those that were able to adapt by becoming bullies themselves.

Staying out of the way? How would that work in the same workplace with someone dogging you?

Joking/jesting? Might work, but risky.

Declare not a big deal (thick-skinned)? Is not a big deal true when it disrupts the workplace, a school bus or a professional forum?

Improvise? Such as moving the parties involved to another environment where the clash can be discussed away from the affected workplace, from the school bus or from mainstream threads? Does that always work?

Targets must be branded for the hostility to work. Here is an example that helps with branding: "a truly dangerous man is one who doesn't know what he doesn't know and JK you are very dangerous,"| followed up with from another, "... a danger James creates is that a fair number of people will agree with him without doing any independent research," which also implies only zombies respond to my thoughts.

What can be said that will diffuse what can then eventually evolve to an pattern of hostilites in the workplace? God loves you?

That is the decoded perspective you seem to present in your plea for civility.

What is missed, over and over again in the many, including myself often enough, is that it is not so much what others are doing (although certainly not excluded) - but so often from self most importantly - first person - those of us that see the abuse and either do nothing or make excuses ...

Is the bully mentality accommodated in the workplace? Is it fun to pick a target and begin just joking with uninvited digs, plan tricks that can damage property or injure someone, and spread rumors that can annoy and that can harm?

Lost some excellent fellow employees over the years -- and a great fellow employee this year over a 'clique' of employees harassing a chosen target. Since I do not spend much time chatting at my workplace I found out about the events after the employee had quit.

By this Summer hope to have what I would accept can help end excuses from the genuine, much of it from experts in the field and some first person taste of it set in play outside the workplace behind the wheel or in a facility, but the experience remaining a part of every workplace. Need compressed working methods with resources for both employees and employers to help put a stop to hostile bus environments and also hostile employees and regardless of their position in the facility.

The documentation and links in this thread can also provide lawyers, agencies, employers and others plenty of quotes, stats and ideas for their own brochures. That's one of the reasons I've placed some of my research here. A quick resource for others.

Time is not relevant to a valid conclusion - there are many quick answers for the impatient - most are wrong. But hopefully time has been sufficient in this project to help provide a quick but valid resourse that can be compressed to a process with the least error involved.

Would you leaving this forum solve the problem in this forum? Only were you the problem. Otherwise it would further hurt this forum. But leaving also remains an option and can be a healthy one to consider.

If you, 80-RE4, are not the problem, then you most likely are part of the restoring. Give heed to that. (jk)

“Happy companies will win. Happy companies will grow and happy companies will innovate. The company of the future is—happy.” ~ Lars Kolind, Chairman of Grundfos

Workplace Cliques: What do you do when your workplace is one big clique from which you are excluded? You aren't as powerless as you might think. ~ Article

@ Work
Warning: Office cliques can ruin workplace morale - Orlando Business Journal - by Joan Lloyd Article

Tribal Warfare
Dealing with Cliques in the Workplace ~ Artile

Dr. Gary Namie is widely regarded as North America's Foremost Authority on Workplace Bullying. He masterfully describes bullying's precipitating factors, the tactics adopted by bullies, the profile of people who get bullied, the full range of stress-related consequences of bullying, co-worker and witness reactions, tangible and intangible costs to employers who dare to ignore bullying. Click Here for Website

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Edited by - JK on 04/26/2008 7:52:46 PM
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Beating back the office bully

Jan 22 2008
The Seattle Times

The power of bullies

Workplace bullies wouldn't exist if organizations didn't reward them. Robert Sutton, a Stanford University management professor and author of "The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't," wants employers to know that jerks do their companies more harm than good.

Q: How do bullies gain their power?

A: There's literature that says people who act powerful and angry are more likely to be seen as powerful. And if someone is a star, we look the other way.

Q: Why doesn't management stop bullies?

A: The societal standard is that it's acceptable to be an asshole as long as you're a winner. But they tend to be less effective at leading organizations. They can drive good people out.

I have a list on my Web site of organizations that actually do stop them [including Seattle law firm Perkins Coie].

SuccessFactors [a California software company] has you sign a statement saying you won't be an asshole, and they fire you if you are.

Bullies and their tactics

The tormentors' motivation is always control, which they exercise in different ways:

The screamer uses rage and temper tantrums to intimidate, preferably when others can witness it.

The snake is the most common, but hardest to identify. She's a behind-the-scenes bully, appearing friendly and supportive in person while smearing your reputation among co-workers with cruel gossip or
insults.

The critic erodes your confidence by nitpicking and faultfinding, even if you've had sterling performance reviews; also trivializes or discounts your feelings.

The gatekeeper sabotages your work and your reputation by setting unreasonable deadlines, denying proper training or withholding information.

Source: The Workplace Bullying Institute

How to fight back

Because many employees aren't protected by harassment laws, their only options are to quit or convince their employers that the bully must go.

Researchers for the Project for Wellness and Work-Life at Arizona State University spent two years studying workplace bullying. They offer advice on making your case to those in charge:

1. Be rational

Describe events in a linear fashion; that is, what the bully did, how you responded and how you tried to resolve the conflict.

Tip: Make an outline, with at least three to five examples, and bring it to the meeting.

2. Curb your emotions

You can describe the emotions of being a bullying target, but avoid displaying them. Researchers found those who appeared unstable or distraught had less credibility than targets who maintained calm.

Tip: Practice telling the story in a calm voice and with confident body language.

3. Offer consistent details

Precise, vivid and abundant details are a sign of authenticity.

Tip: Document these details as the abuse occurs.

4. Be relevant, rally others

Focus on the bully's actions rather than your feelings about them, and let it be known if other employees were also targeted. This helps counter the belief that you're the one at fault.

Tip: Rally other abused workers, and provide a united front.

5. Emphasize your competence

By depicting yourself as proactive and strong, you signal that you are not a victim, but a fighter and survivor.

Tip: Explain how the bully's behavior harms workplace performance.

Source: "How to Bust the Office Bully," The Project for Wellness and Work-Life, 2007

Caring for yourself

Give it a name. There is power in calling it what it is whether bullying, harassment or emotional abuse. It helps offset the cycle of self-blame, which your employer will encourage.

Take time off or sick leave. Get emotionally stable enough to make a clearheaded decision to stay and fight or to leave for your health's sake.

Research legal options, get a physical checkup, start a job search.

Source: The Workplace Bullying Institute

Click Here for source

“Happy companies will win. Happy companies will grow and happy companies will innovate. The company of the future is—happy.” ~ Lars Kolind, Chairman of Grundfos

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"Healthy Workplace Bill" would protect employees who feel the bite of a tormenting boss

By Rebecca Morris

Jan 20 2008
Special to The Seattle Times

In her nightmares, Jaymie Lennon's former boss calls her an idiot, undermines her confidence, tells other employees that Lennon is "unstable" and "mentally ill," and regularly threatens to fire her.

Just, she says, like in real life.

Cary Stidham says the same boss called him "stupid" in front of others, and degraded him in meetings with clients. He saw her throw phones, and kick walls and file cabinets.

They're talking about Louise Long, director of the Seattle Marathon Association. While her organization is under scrutiny for its finances and her possible conflicts of interest, what's come to light is a problem familiar in lots of workplaces: Long — hardcharging, intense and, some would argue, successful — was seen by some as an office bully.

While recently visible, she's hardly alone. Abrasive bosses haunt the corridors of power (former United Nations Ambassador John Bolton browbeat subordinates), the basketball court (Bobby Knight was famous for throwing chairs to express his displeasure), or the smallest office.

More than one-third of workers — 54 million Americans — say they have experienced workplace bullying, according to a 2007 Zogby International poll commissioned by the Workplace Bullying Institute.

A workplace bully may shout, swear, call employees names, intimidate, humiliate, tarnish reputations, sabotage and destroy workplace relationships. And unless the victim is part of a protected class (defined by gender, age, race, ethnicity, religion or disability) or covered by an employment contract, such behavior is legal.

"There is no law that says you can't be a bully," says Chris Young, an employment attorney with Peterson, Young, Putra, Fletcher in Seattle.

Psychologists Gary and Ruth Namie, founders of the Bellingham-based Workplace Bullying Institute, want harassed workers to have better options. They're pushing the "Healthy Workplace Bill," sponsored by Rep. Kelli Linville (D-Bellingham), which would give employees the right to sue their employer if their health or economic livelihood is harmed by an abusive workplace.

While the bill doesn't use the term "bully," Gary Namie defines it as "repeated nonphysical, health-impairing psychological mistreatment that falls outside discriminatory harassment."

A nonreaction

According to the Zogby poll, 44 percent of the time employers react to reports of bullying by doing nothing.

"Employers are not motivated to stop bullies because there is no law, no consequence," Namie says. "They write it off as someone's 'management style.' And there are benefits; companies think the bullies get results, think they are indispensable."

Workplace bullying takes a toll, on employees and on business. Health studies show that work-related stress can lead to depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, strokes, heart attacks, chronic fatigue and economic devastation from being fired or forced to leave.

Tales from the front

Jaymie Lennon, 28, remembers crying every day during the four months she worked for the Seattle Marathon Association. One time, Lennon was at the hospital, literally sick from stress.

"She kept calling," Lennon says of Louise Long. "She would say, 'I don't care if you're sick. You need to get back here.' " One day Lennon went to lunch and never returned to the office.

Cary Stidham, now 29, quit the Marathon Association soon after Lennon did, at the end of 2006. After being denied unemployment benefits, he appealed and described to a judge why he quit: the yelling and screaming; how Long called him "stupid"; how, in a meeting with a client, she laced comments about Stidham with profanities; how she rolled her eyes when he told her she shouldn't speak to him like that. The judge ruled in Stidham's favor.

"I didn't want to be a whistle-blower," Stidham says. "[But] I have literally never met anyone who treated people like that."

Long acknowledges that her management style has been abrasive, but she says that the months just before and after the marathon are stressful.

"When you're working on an event, the staff has to be willing to keep up with that kind of pace," she says.

Long won't talk about claims that she threw things or swore at employees; she does say that about a year ago her board of directors gave her a set of "management expectations" to work on. She says she has made changes.

"It's pretty calm around here now," she says. "Anyone would be happy to work here."

The bottom line

A bullying boss is bad for business, experts say. Talented people leave, companies get a bad reputation, morale plummets. And there is a cost to the company in absenteeism, lack of productivity and high turnover.

Nowhere is it written that a boss can't be petty or mean — except in England, Norway, France and Sweden, whose health-and-safety laws include protection against bullies.

Four other states will consider a version of Namie's Healthy Workplace Bill this year. In all, he has pitched it to 13 states, but none has adopted it. An anti-bullying bill proposed in Washington's last legislative session never made it out of committee.

"We have animal cruelty laws," Namie says, "but we don't have human cruelty laws."

Rebecca Morris has been a broadcast and print journalist for 34 years. She teaches journalism at Bellevue Community College.

Click Here for source

“Happy companies will win. Happy companies will grow and happy companies will innovate. The company of the future is—happy.” ~ Lars Kolind, Chairman of Grundfos

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Edited by - JK on 02/03/2008 6:10:23 PM
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Beauty queen battles bullies

"So he's sick one day, and he stays home from school," she continued. "He called his dad from home, and his dad asks him, 'do you want a sandwich?' And his dad says, 'I'm sorry you had to stay home alone today.' And Jared, he said, 'actually, I was just calling to tell you goodbye. …' [The father] heard this noise on the other end … He passed away on the phone."

By CHERYL K. CHUMLEY
cchumley@potomacnews.com

Jan 28 2008
Potomac News
Don't give atomic wedgies, and don't otherwise physically, verbally or emotionally bully anyone -- with these rules, thou should pledge.

The Jan. 25 morning message may have been a bit more complicated, but certainly the most entertaining aspect of Miss Virginia 2006 Adrianna Sgarlata's address to the seventh-grade class of Graham Park Middle School was her retelling of a kindergartener's definition of bullying, as seen through the eyes of Sponge Bob Square Pants.

"I was speaking to a bunch of kindergarteners and this particular class loved [the cartoon]," said Sgarlata. "So one of the kindergarteners said bullying is when you give someone an atomic wedgie."

Other examples and definitions, as offered by the considerably more mature crowd of 12- and 13-year-olds, include "fighting," "making fun," "abuse," and "harming somebody that does not want to be harmed."

The Friday assembly, broken into three separate gatherings for each grade level at Graham Park, comes at the tail end of Virginia School Bully Prevention Awareness Month. Every January, participating schools are asked to focus awareness on the estimated "160,000 children" who miss school daily because of fears from bullies, and promote means of overcoming these statistics, according to a Prince William County School press release.

Sgarlata, a self-described victim of bullying herself, is the director of Bully Police Virginia and a driving force behind the passage of the Commonwealth's first anti-bully law, under former Gov. Mark Warner. Speaking to the students, she recalled the pain experienced when she was nine and the target of several boys on the bus who began their bullying with teasing and name-calling, only to escalate it in the weeks that followed to the point of spitting cookies and throwing objects at her and stealing and damaging her personal property.

"So I'm really devastated," Sgarlata remembered, "for a variety of reasons. I go home crying."

For Sgarlata, the lesson eventually evolved into one of trust and truth: She cried wolf to skip the bus ride so many times that her parents hesitated to believe her when her stomach actually did hurt - a disbelief that caused delay in diagnosis of appendicitis.

For a friend, however, the bullying resulted in a much more serious ending - the suicide of the family's 13-year-old son, Jared. Once again, it began with teasing and, as the weeks wore, escalated to the point of such physical abuse that hospital tests showed severe spinal and head injuries.

"Jared starts to get depressed," Sgarlata said, fast-forwarding to his progression to the next grade level which carried with it only deepened feelings of sadness and depression.

"So he's sick one day, and he stays home from school," she continued. "He called his dad from home, and his dad asks him, 'do you want a sandwich?' And his dad says, 'I'm sorry you had to stay home alone today.' And Jared, he said, 'actually, I was just calling to tell you goodbye. …' [The father] heard this noise on the other end … He passed away on the phone."

One lesson to learn: Bystanders should get involved and try to help those who are being bullied. But at root, all Sgarlata's stories led to a singular point.

"Practice a culture of respect," she said. "That's what we're going to do with our fellow students here at Graham Park."

Click Here for source

Take a Stand, Lend a Hand - Stop Bullying Now!
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Who's afraid of the big, bad bully?

In Bullyproof Your Child for Life, Joel Haber, Ph.D., gives parents step by step instructions to help ensure that their children won't fall prey to the big, bad bully. Haber explains bullying and remidies for targets in the following excerpt from his book ...

What is bullying?
Bullying is a repeated and/or chronic pattern of hurtful behavior involving intent to maintain an imbalance of power. What this means is that a bully find satisfaction in harming people whom he considers weaker to build up his own sense of power. It's important to differentiate bullying from fighting, the latter of which is really about an escalation of conflict and is normal. Kids roughhouse and may yell at each other or shove each other without a bullying element to it.

Bullying isn't about working out a conflict, and it isn't between evenly matched opponents. It crosses the line into unequal power dynamics where one person wants to control another. The bully believes the target is weaker in some way, whether that's physical, mental, social, emotional, or a combination. Bullies get satisfaction from harming their targets. If the behavior is left unchecked, it can intensify someone's (the bully's) power at the expense of someone else (the target).

Who are bullies?
Although most kids will "test out" bullying by testing out their power, the majority quickly discover they're not cut out for it. A child proves to be a true bully if he keeps up the role for months or years, loses his empathy with these incidents, or if his initial forays into bullying are exceptionally abusive.

Some bullies may not typically be jealous of the kids they pick on, and they don’t usually have low self-esteem. That's another myth—one that experts believed for decades until psychological tests showed that bullies typically had self-esteem to spare.

When I was growing up, the stereotype of the bully was an overweight, overaggressive, not very intelligent boy who beat up others to make himself feel better by proving his physical strength. There are still some of this type of bully out there, sure, but there's a much more dangerous bully type now.

Today's bullies are often popular, smart, charming to adults, and have many friends, even if their friendships are based on fear. They maintain their social status by making others objects of scorn and ridicule. To most people, they look like leaders. What bullies may not have is empathy, and that may be the most critical element differentiating them from kids with true leadership skills.

The thing that makes it so hard to deal with these types of bullies is that they're often hard to recognize, and hard for bystanders to stand up to. People like them. Teachers are amused by them. Coaches value them. Their social skills enable them to sweet-talk and appear innocent to adults, and their peers are terrified of standing up to them when they witness bullying behaviors because they could easily become the next targets. Whether they admit it or not, nearly all kids want to be popular. They want to have friends on the highest rung of the social ladder. They'll rarely contradict or confront a popular kid who's doing something wrong because that would make them "uncool" and likely to lose social status themselves.

Because of this, the popular bullies learn that they can get away with anything, and their empathy declines. They feel more and more powerful, and feel contempt for the less powerful kids. They're likely to repeat this pattern throughout life in their workplaces, towns, and families—teaching their kids how to climb the social ladder so they can annihilate the "worthless" kids below them, too. That is part of the reason we have to deal with these issues early when they occur, because the longer kids get away with bullying, the less their empathy kicks in to stop these situations.

Why are Kids Bullies?
Bullies will find any excuse to pick on a target. Too tall. Too short. Too fat. Too Skinny. Too smart. Too stupid. Poor. An out-of-fashion haircut. Glasses. Braces. Different religion. Different race. Perceived homosexuality. Poor athletic ability. Flat-chested. Developing breasts early. A stutter. Teacher's pet. Shy. Disabled. Any type of perceived vulnerability will make a child a likelier target.

One factor remains pretty constant, though: The way a child responds to bullying events will determine whether those events repeat and escalate. The child who can laugh it off, walk away, and feel good about him- or herself anyway is not likely to become a long-term target. One the other hand, the likelihood of further attacks increases the more emotional the child becomes in reaction to the bullying. A child who gets very angry, cried, pouts, whines, or runs to a teacher is probably going to be harassed time and again.

That's the scary part of the bullying equation: In normal conflict, kids self-monitor. They can read each other's cues to know when they've crossed the line, and modify their behavior in response. That is, when two kids are pushing each other in the school yard and one kid starts to cry, the other will stop. The cue is received: "I've hurt someone," and acted upon with empathy: "I don't really want to hurt someone, so I'd better stop."

Take that same situation with a bullying dynamic, and the same cue is acted upon in an opposite manner. "I've hurt someone" is translated to: "Cool. I have more power. Let's see if I can really make this kid have a breakdown. This is fun!"

If Your Child is a Target
If you learn that your child is a target, you must create an environment that is nonthreatening and safe for him or her. Accomplish this by remembering these steps:

  • Listen to his feelings in a nonjudgmental manner. If you react with a strong emotional outburst, you may shut your child down because he will fear you, like he fears the bully. Make sure that you are in a calm place when you make time to listen, or he may observe that your feelings are overly intense, and shut down.


  • Try to gather information about the specifics of the incident(s). Documentation becomes a powerful tool when you have to deal with the school or another parent. Try to note the specific times that incidents occurred, and who was present when the incident happened (adults and children).


  • Never blame your child for being bullied. Bullying is a behavior that no one deserves, and if you blame your child, she will feel diminished as a person, similar to how the bully made her feel. Even if you believe your child was provoking this behavior, do not blame her. Do not suggest that she's "too sensitive" or "too emotional," or anything else that implies that you think she's weak. In time, you'll need to help your child manage her own behavior. The way you do this is to problem-solve with her, even if she cannot come up with answers. The critical variable is that if children have exhausted their own resources, they may have to see that involving an adult with more power is the next solution until they can find a way on their own to manage these issues.


  • Empower your children by helping them come up with a plan. Ask your children (grades two and beyond, generally) what help you can give them. You can role-play how to stand up to a bully if they feel safe, become a good reporter to a teacher or aide, enlist a friend, or avoid the bully situation. For Children who are younger, you may need to call the school and speak with the teacher, so someone in power can look out for your child.


  • Don't bully your child into making a choice he's not ready to make. For example, if you tell your child to stand up straight, look a bully in the eye, and say, "Stop it, this is bullying" before he's ready, you can make him feel less powerful. Your child may feel like you're bullying him. Try to encourage your children, but at a pace that works for them. Remember that not all children can ever make this choice based on their comfort level and temperament. Some children need other peers or adults to help and cannot be direct with a peer they're afraid of.


  • Reward your child for speaking with you by praising her. Specific praise like "I'm so proud of you for telling me about this bullying situation, and now you've developed a plan of action" works best because she knows specifically what she did that empowered her, and allows her to be proud of her behavior. Nonspecific praise, such as "Good work," doesn't provide enough clarity for children to understand that certain behavior leads to praise and positive power for them.


* * *


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Take a Stand, Lend a Hand - Stop Bullying Now!
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Click the link to receive a free customizable brochure (MS Word template) that can be reproduced and given to parents - "The seven highly effective steps to keeping your child safe" - Click Here for Link

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Edited by - JK on 02/17/2008 01:52:58 AM
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JK
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Posted - 02/17/2008 :  07:11:11 AM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
An excellent Website found by forum member, guzaldo

Bullying, Abuse and Psycho Bullies

Bullying and abuse can be psychological, verbal, physical or sexual. There is a clear distinction between psychopathic bullies (or abusers), for whom bullying and abuse is a compulsive behaviour, and copycat bullies (or abusers) for whom it is a learned behaviour. Psycho bullies are in the minority but they can cause huge problems, creating a trail of chaos around them and they often promote copycat bullying by creating bully cultures. The bully uses "projection" to apply his distorted sense of reality (psychosis) to the bully target, accusing the target of faults and weaknesses that are actually his own. At the same time the bully is always "in denial" that he is in any way to blame. Bullying can be "covert" or "overt".

Many news stories these days relate to bullying or abuse (for example, neighbours from hell, school children committing suicide because of bullying, abuse in the Catholic church, the Dr David Kelly suicide or the Deepcut barracks deaths). Bullying and deceit can also exist in countless more subtle ways, such as in government spin or certain advertising. The financial services industry springs to mind as having deceitful practices. Bullying can readily become institutionalised. About one in twenty elderly people are abused in some way.

People who bully or mob have poor emotional intelligence. Bullying causes massive stress, huge losses in productivity and stiffling of creativity amongst the workforce. The standard of management in this country is generally very poor. Organisations often have a "control freak" or "we know best" culture. The economic and health damage is huge. For example, it goes a long way to explain why there are 2.7 million people on incapacity benefit in the UK, why there is so much sick leave and why some companies have such a high staff turnover. It's a disgrace.

Like a cancer, most organisations are infested with bullying in one form or another. Side effects of bullying may include low efficiency, bureaucratic muddle, lack of accountability, incompetence, greed, dishonesty and corruption. Bullying at the BBC, for example, is rife. BBC managers have been described as "managers and damagers" ! Companies can develop shared psychosis, corporate psychosis, corporate narcissism (ref, for example, Enron or Worldcom) or their own brand of Stalinism.

Being bullied can be as debilitating in its own way as having your leg broken by someone. The bullying causes psychological injury (hurt feelings, loss of self esteem, depression or "complex post-traumatic syndrome") rather than physical injury. The bullying can be sustained over a very long period of time. The public's recommendation is often to just "move on" or to forget about the bullying, but the sense of injustice and injury can be as strong as if some broke your leg intentionally. It is no trivial matter. For example, every year in the UK at least 20 school children commit suicide because of bullying. Countless other school children are damaged psychologically by bullying. Bullying is a major cause of truancy.

There is a huge amount of "head in the sand" DENIAL about bullying and abuse, but believe me it is just about the most important issue there is. ~ Click Here for source

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 02/17/2008 07:13:22 AM
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JK
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Posted - 02/17/2008 :  3:51:13 PM  Show Profile  Visit JK's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Are you being bullied at work?
Would you like to fight back?


kickbully.com can show you how.

Site Contents

Start here to understand workplace bullies - Field Guide
Some companies encourage bullying - Evil Firms
How to battle a bully - Fight Back
Books on bullies and manipulators - Good Books
Other web sites about bullying and life - Links

kickbully.com is dedicated to advancing the understanding
of workplace bullies and providing the tools to defeat them.
Copyright 2001-2007 by Dave Chapman. All rights reserved. ~ Main Website

FREE School Bus Safety Ads & Photo Library
Post Check, Hostage Takeover, Bus Fire and special effects photos now available Free to use at websites, in newsletters, memos, the local press, letters to parents and more. This is a very popular Website. If you can't get in bookmark the page and try again later.



There is no school bus driver shortage!
Properly train, effective support and pay that retains.

Edited by - JK on 02/17/2008 4:12:50 PM
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